School Field Trips

Today, for the 7th time, I went on a school field trip to the zoo. Having two children in elementary school, this is a regular yearly gig for me. This time however, it was different and if you are a teacher hating your job and the world, I recommend you continue reading. Instead of walking around the zoo and hoping to catch a Bengal Tiger mauling a baboon or catching elephants mating, we were given a set of questions we had to answer at most expeditions. So while we were doing the lunch time countdown, we actually learned some really good useless information.
For example, did you know that the white Bengal tiger, the one that almost killed one of the better half's of that fabulous Vegas couple, is on it's way to becoming extinct? How does an animal that is on top of the food chain become extinct? It's not like they're neutered or spayed and I am sure they have the sex drive of a rookie NFL player, so how can it be that they are not reproducing? And did you know that the crane bird is monogamous? If you're thinking how can that be possible, then you're a whore, but to be fair, those birds all look the same. None of them gain weight and the females don't have breasts. The males all have the same temperament and the females complain about the same damn thing all the time, they literally are all the same. There is another animal that I can't remember now where the father raises the young while the mother goes and tries to get knocked up again. Wow. With the exception of the mother birds getting knocked up again, those birds can be really good role models for ghetto high school students.
Also, if you ever see a really pretty vibrant colored frog, stay the hell away from it. Those frogs are from the rainforest and each one can kill up to 22 humans. I know you're thinking "hey...this is bad information for someone in the wrong mind" but I am thinking "hey...let this person try to grab this frog" and no, latex surgical gloves won't protect you from the poison.
As you can see, I learned alot of good information from this one zoo trip. I am seriously considering trading my ill-tempered watch-dog pitbull for a group of rainforest frogs.