Being in a bad mood.

This morning I woke up in a pretty neutral mood.  I followed my usual morning routine:  Alarm off at 5 am; stick one leg out to the bed so that the weight of that leg slowly pulls me out of bed; bathroom; shower; a glass of not-from-concentrated OJ for breakfast; hug cat; dry my hair; put on makeup; hug cat again- she is very needy in the morning; get dressed; check myself out in 3 different mirrors to get 3 different opinions.  Yes, mirrors are very subjective and it’s important to get the average of 3. By the way,   I am not sure if I am using those semicolons correctly but the comma didn’t look and read right.  Anyways,  I hop in my car and drive to work.  But all the sudden, I found myself agitated with mean thoughts and I couldn’t understand why.  Why were all my random thoughts laced with profanity and the desire to destroy a person’s reputation by giving their business a bad Yelp review or using my intermediate Photoshop skills to create an embarrassing image of them?   How apparent is it that my level of cruelty is ‘nerd’?  By the time I got to work my thoughts were neutralized and boring.  But, now I know why I got all pissy for no reason.  On my way to work, I drove by an acquaintance’s house and by acquaintance I mean a person who I see at parties from time to time and who has recently stuck her little pig nose up at me. I remembered that she had a huge Christmas party and left me out of the Evite list.  I don’t care who you are but everyone feels a ping of rejection when they are left out of a party.  It could be a cats and crochet party or a Polka music dancing party and it would

still scratch a weak nerve.  What really bugged me is that it bugged me and I knew the only way to get over it quickly is to repeat this affirmation: “I am smart.  I am beautiful. I am smart and I am beautiful.  I am smart and I am beautiful”.  Nothing.  I was still chaffed.  So I had to tweak my affirmation:  “I am smart.  I am beautiful.  I can do anything I want.  I too will have a big party and not invite her”.  Ahh, much better.  Just like that, I was fine. 

I am not going to have a big party but just knowing that I can do it is enough to get me through these stupid thoughts that creep in and try to ruin 5 minutes of my life.  Sometimes just knowing that we have the power of some useless revenge is enough to make us move on.  Now I am not talking about revenge in terms of someone burning your house down or spreading vicious rumors about  your feminine problems, but about high school issues that still haunt you.  It all boils down to rejection.  And what is rejection?  Rejection is when someone doesn’t accept you for who think you are. At that point you just have to accept that no matter how awesome that person is perceived to be, he/she will never be that fit for you.  If that’s not enough then know that if you could ever be a recording iPhone on their wall, their everyday problems would make you laugh like an idiot and maybe, just maybe, love them.