The Science of Shopping

I am sure most of you have seen this picture emailed to your inbox by your tech un-savvy aunt Gilda who can use that 'forward' button like a pro.  Or maybe you saw it on a Facebook feed. But if you have never seen it, look at, study it, and find the truth in it. I was going to explain the graphic to you but it is so simple and intuitive and if you don't get it, then you have never been to a mall and you have never met a woman with fake nails. It's a graphic depiction of what happens when a woman goes to the mall verses when a man goes to the mall, both with the same mission: to buy a pair of pants at the Gap.  Most non-vegetarian men can do this.  But as soon as a women walks inside a mall, time becomes relative.  Much like when a guy says there is only 10 minutes left in the 4th quarter and the game is tied and he's pretty sure the referees are corrupt.  The women has the intention of sticking to the original plan of buying the pants and leaving, but those sales signs in front of the stores are no different than that stupid snake that tempted Eve to take a bite out of that apple.  If Adam was into fashion, he would take out that snake for his skin and replace that tacky leaf with a snake skin underwear.  Temptation wouldn't win, just like those glorious sale signs.  Women see the sale signs and we don't think about spending money.  We think about saving money. We usually don't need most the crap we buy but a purchase is an analytical decision.  Do I like it?  Does it make me look skinny?  Could I see myself in this as a repost on Pinterest? Does it make me itch or accentuate my love handles?  What am I going to make for dinner? How long until the next gifting holiday? What should I make for dinner? This shirt makes me look hot.  Is there a Groupon on botox? People who shoplift are horrible.  Mustard. I need mustard.   What's that smell?  Ugh! Someone farted.  I don't wanna be gross.  I am buying the shirt.  This AD/HD thought process happens with every store that has a sale sign. That's why women just can't go to a mall to buy that one thing and leave.  Our shopping process puts us in a warped reality of time (like the last 10 minutes of a football game) and we enjoy every second of it.